Asakura Kiki: Roots of Hello! Project-ism

This interview was first published in IDOL AND READ Vol. 24 (October 2020).

—How were you as a child?

Asakura: I was mommy’s little girl. I couldn’t do anything if my mom wasn’t with me. I went to daycare and kindergarten on my own, but cried every morning. I liked my dad too, but I remember him scolding me and making me cry, so there was this distance between the two of us.

—Why did he get mad at you?

Asakura: I told white lies. He scolded me, saying lying was bad, and made me cry. He also got mad when I did things wrong, so thanks to him, I can tell when I’ve messed up.

—You said you have a younger brother. Could you tell us about him?

Asakura: He’s seven years younger than me so I was in first grade when he was born. I was still stuck to my mom at that time. I thought he was snatching her away from me, which made me feel sad and lonely. (Laughs) I couldn’t bond with him at all back then, but about three years ago, I started feeling I had to watch over him. We used to argue about every little thing. My family made it a point to call me “big sister” because my little brother grew up calling me just “Kiki.”

—Now that’s interesting!

Asakura: It was kind of odd. I had no choice, it’s like he didn’t want me to play my role as his big sister.

—So you were always following your mom. Were you a shy kid?

Asakura: I was extremely shy. I only had two or three friends and they were the only ones I could open up and talk to. I couldn’t get into big groups. Even now, I only have a couple of friends. (Laughs)

—You also played piano.

Asakura: I took piano lessons from daycare to the first grade of middle school, which is about seven or eight years. I’m not completely sure, but I think I asked to take lessons myself. Instead of taking private lessons, I had five or six people in my group and we learned how to play the electronic organ. It was fun so I kept going.

Asakura Kiki (2020)

—Were you interested in anything other than piano?

Asakura: In first or second grade, I got into Buono! after hearing their songs in the anime Shugo Chara!. I learned their dances and mimicked their singing. I did this for five or six years. I never took lessons, but I liked dancing.

—When you talk about your starting point, Shugo Chara! comes up a lot. Why did you like it so much?

Asakura: At first, I was into the anime and wanted to be like the characters. They were cute and had nice clothes. The story was interesting, and the opening and ending songs by Buono! caught my ear. I dreamed of singing and dancing like them. Gradually, I became more interested in the songs than in the anime itself. The show stopped airing when I was in fourth grade, which made me think Buono! ended too. In my mind, they just disappeared naturally.

—You were just a kid, so you didn’t know how to research things.

Asakura: I didn’t have a cellphone and couldn’t keep up with news. I didn’t even know they had new songs. I found other things to get into, like Shonen Jump’s Tegami Bachi (Letter Bee), but eventually came back to Buono!.

—What led you to Buono! again?

Asakura: I got my first cellphone in sixth grade. I looked them up and saw they were active. I came across Buono!’s latest music video (“Hatsukoi Cider”) and found Morning Musume and S/mileage in related videos. I fell down the rabbit hole. (Laughs)

—Did you go to concerts and events?

Asakura: I did. Once, I went to a Berryz Koubou release event. My CD came with an application for the event, so I asked my parents to apply for me. When I arrived at the venue, I didn’t have a clue about seat numbers and assumed I could just sit where I wanted: in the front row. As people came in, I realized they were looking at their seat number. I checked mine, and you’ll never guess, but my seat was down in the very back row. (Laughs) It was extremely bold of me to sit in the front row.

—Those events have a handshake session, right? How was it seeing Berryz Koubou in the flesh?

Asakura: They had silky skin. (Laughs) I couldn’t believe the idols I saw on TV were in front of me. They were radiant. I was also the last person in the handshake line, but they still told me I was cute. (Laughs)

—They must have been happy an elementary school girl came by. You were a real wota at that time too.

Asakura: I collected merch. I have a vivid memory of my first trip to the Hello! Project Official Shop. I was in heaven. The store was full of the stuff I loved. (Laughs)

Buono!’s “Hatsukoi Cider” (2012)

—As time went by, you wanted to be a performer yourself.

Asakura: That’s how it turned out. I always enjoyed dancing. I fell in love with Sayashi Riho’s sharp moves when she centered Morning Musume’s “One Two Three.” I wanted to be on stage with her. I applied for Morning Musume’s 12ki Mirai Shoujo audition, but I was rejected. I tried again for Morning Musume ‘14’s Golden Audition, but didn’t pass and ended up joining Kenshuusei.

—You started middle school around that time. How did it go for you?

Asakura: There were many kids from other elementary schools and my friends started meeting more people too. I finally managed to communicate. (Laughs) I joined a large circle of friends.

—Were you in a club?

Asakura: I was in band. I joined Kenshuusei in my second year of middle school and continued my club activities until then. I’m more into music and art than sports. There was a trial period for band, and my senior was amazingly kind. That’s what made me want to be in the club.

—Was Morning Musume the first time you auditioned for something?

Asakura: Yes, and it was nerve-wracking. After I passed the first document screening, I was asked by the company to come. We had to sing a couple of lines, and I sang Buono!’s “Hatsukoi Cider”. I thought I did well, and I was right because I passed that round. The next round was also focused on singing, but I didn’t feel it as much at the end. Next thing I knew, I had failed. I was so nervous, I put on a fake smile and choked while answering questions. My nerves prevented me from showing my personality, and as expected, I was rejected.

—You failed your first audition. What motivated you to try again?

Asakura: I’ve never liked losing. For example, at a graduation ceremony, I had to play piano with two other girls. During rehearsals, they couldn’t play at all and sobbed. Our teacher started panicking, and I just said: “I’ll learn the songs.” I spent the entire weekend learning my song as well as the two songs the girls were supposed to play. They managed to play their songs for the show, but I felt I should learn and play them in case they couldn’t to prove to them I could do it. When I wasn’t eating, I was practising piano. I had stiff shoulders for the very first time. (Laughs)

—You were just a kid, but you pushed yourself so hard, you got stiff shoulders. (Laughs) You’re the kind of girl who doesn’t give up after failing once.

Asakura: It lit up a fire in me. I really wanted to pass. I was lucky they held another audition a year later.

Final round (training camp) of Morning Musume ’14’s Golden Audition

—How was your second audition?

Asakura: I was confident, jumped right in and made it to the training camp. Of course, I failed. (Laughs)

—You had a feeling it didn’t work out, and you were right.

Asakura: Yes. For the final round, Tsunku watched us sing and dance, and I burst into tears after that. There was a part where you had to raise your hand to improvise funny lines and nothing came to me. Everyone raised their hand and I just stood there in silence.

—Wow, the bar was high, asking you to come up with jokes on the spot. (Laughs) The training camp must have been a unique experience.

Asakura: At the end of the day, I wanted to call my mom, but they took away our cellphones. (Laughs) I stayed up late to practice. I was used to sleeping at 11 p.m., so I was surprised I could stay awake this late. That’s how much I didn’t want to lose.

—You were probably against more experienced girls.

Asakura: Some had taken singing and dancing lessons before. I came in not even knowing about stretching. I thought it was a dance move, like stretching your arm. (Laughs)

—Even after going through all of this, you failed for a second time.

Asakura: It was a hard pill to swallow and I cried. I knew I didn’t do well, but I had a glimmer of hope until they told me I failed. I was in a slump, and for the first time ever, I didn’t want anything to do with Hello! Project. I loved it so much, but I was disappointed and had to take a step back.

—It made sense not to want to listen to their songs for a while. You were invited to join Hello! Project Kenshuusei, though.

Asakura: My mom convinced me to give it a shot. She said it’d allow me to understand where I stood and work from there. As a Kenshuusei, I might have new opportunities too. I was only a beginner at singing and dancing and it was the best way to learn about idoling. Besides, I liked Kenshuusei. (Laughs) I followed Hello! Project as a whole and working with Kenshuusei sounded awesome.

Asakura Kiki and Onoda Saori as Kenshuusei (2015)

—How were you doing in Kenshuusei?

Asakura: I was brimming with confidence. At the training camp, while I had trouble keeping up with songs and dances, I still had a blast doing it. I thought I had my stuff together. At our first Kenshuusei recital, my generation mate Onoda Saori and I weren’t sure if we could perform in large group songs as we were new members. The two of us learned the songs and positions and we were allowed to perform those songs. The thing is, it was Morning Musume 12ki, Country Girls, and ANGERME new members’ last Kenshuusei recital and they didn’t take part in every performance. I was pumped to fill in their shoes. (Laughs) I was confident I’d be chosen because I had what it took. Looking back, I was overconfident, but I felt I could sing and dance better than anyone else.

—You really didn’t have any kind of inferiority complex.

Asakura: I often felt I couldn’t follow the rhythm when I watched my seniors during lessons. That was just during lessons, because when I actually performed, I made sure I didn’t look like a newbie. I was on fire. My dad told me: “You have to go for it so hard, they’ll regret making you fail that audition.” (Laughs) We were both just as eager and intense. I, too, had a burning desire to make them pay for not choosing me.

—You were friends with Onoda Saori from the start.

Asakura: She was my only generation mate and we had a friendly rivalry during the audition. I was really glad to start my activities with someone like her. I felt that, if Saorin was working hard, I had to work hard too. She was both a good rival and a friend.

—Kobushi Factory were formed shortly after you joined Kenshuusei. How did that make you feel?

Asakura: At that time, my seniors like Kaga Kaede and Kishimoto Yumeno broke down in tears. I knew how it felt not getting picked as I failed auditions, but they had already experienced this several times. I thought showing my disappointment would be disrespectful to them. I was bummed too, but I sucked it up.

—Less than 4 months after that, Tsubaki Factory were announced as a new group. I’m sure it was a big surprise to you.

Asakura: It was. They told me I had to record a few words for a TV show and when I arrived, the other members were there. I was wondering if all of us came for the same job. Suddenly, Berryz Koubou’s Shimizu Saki came in and asked us what we were doing. My heart skipped a beat because the real Shimizu Saki was in front of me. (Laughs) Then, she made the announcement. I was surprised, but actually, something that happened earlier finally made sense to me. That morning, my mom said I should dress better for my job. I was like: “What’s up with her, complaining about my clothes?” (Laughs)

—Looking back, she was acting weird.

Asakura: My mom knew and let it show. (Laughs) I only realized it later as I really thought I was just recording a comment before the announcement. I couldn’t believe it. Kobushi Factory had just been formed and they were already announcing a new group. I was also shocked we had a similar name. One surprise after another.

Tsubaki Factory’s first indies single: “Seishun Manmannaka!” (2015)

—Let’s talk about Tsubaki Factory before your major debut. What were your thoughts during that period?

Asakura: At the beginning, we were doing everything for the first time and it was exciting. Six months and a year passed, and we had no idea where we were headed. All we knew is that after our major debut, a door to a whole new world would open. We’d go on tour and our CDs would be sold in stores. Since nothing had been confirmed, we were trying to figure out how to proceed and worked hard at the jobs we had.

—Kobushi Factory were formed just before you did and things were sailing smoothly for them. At the same time, Tsubaki’s ship was rocking.

Asakura: Kobushi Factory were powerful and had strong singers and a cheerful image. On the other hand, Tsubaki Factory were gloomy and quiet. (Laughs) We came across like that on stage. We did try to be cheerful in our own way, but you could only tell if you were 1 meter away from us.

—You were trying your best, but it wasn’t enough.

Asakura: That’s it. People said we were like that, but we didn’t understand why. Maybe we looked like that because we didn’t know what to do to reach the next stage. Still, we had the opportunity to perform in two plays during that period. One of them was Thank You Very Berry featuring all of Tsubaki. I loved that play, personally. We worked with stage actresses who had experience all over the industry. It was our first time working with people outside of the company and it expanded our horizons. I fell in love with stage plays. It was a joy seeing the theatre come to life with all these people supporting us. I felt something was missing from my life when it ended.

Tsubaki Factory welcoming new members (2016)

—After that, three new members (Ono Mizuho, Onoda Saori, and Akiyama Mao) joined Tsubaki Factory. What was your reaction?

Asakura: I had a hunch. Other groups got new members, so why not Tsubaki Factory too? It wasn’t that surprising. I thought maybe it wouldn’t work out if nothing changed. Some members were startled, but I was pretty calm. I was actually happy because it meant things could change. Staff thought about Tsubaki Factory’s value and wanted us to improve.

—Your friend Onoda Saori ended up joining you.

Asakura: Right from the audition, we wanted to be in the same group. She seemed really upset I debuted before her and it was awkward between us, sadly. We were always chatting in Kenshuusei, but she wouldn’t even contact me after that.

—So you were estranged for a while.

Asakura: For about six months. Tsubaki still performed at Kenshuusei recitals, so we were often together. I managed to talk to her little by little, but I was scared she had somewhat of a grudge against me. That’s why I was really glad she joined. We even talked and laughed about those days on a DVD Magazine, in the part where we’re riding a Ferris wheel just the two of us. I’m like: “We were a bit awkward together back then, right!”

—It must have been a relief for you. Immediately after the new members joined, your major debut was announced.

Asakura: The announcement came as we were having our first performance with nine members. It made me happy, but we hadn’t done anything together yet. I felt the only reason why we could debut is because the three of them joined. I was under the impression that we had to perform with nine members and show our growth to deserve a major debut, but we didn’t have to prove anything at all. I, and the other five original members, wondered was even the point of six-member Tsubaki. Sorry for sounding spoiled, but I was a bit disappointed. I still think about it today. Thanks to that, though, we’d get nice songs, go on tour and take on different jobs. We’re like this now because we had our major debut at that time. Maybe it was our fate.

Tsubaki Factory’s major debut single: “Hatsukoi Sunrise” (2017)

—Everything changed after your major debut. It was just like in Othello (Reversi), when you turn over a piece and make it your own colour.

Asakura: I couldn’t have said it better. (Laughs) “Hatsukoi Sunrise” is such a stellar song. I knew many people would love it and get to know us through it. I was ecstatic to debut with a wonderful song like that. My dad was also very pleased. (Laughs) We had release events and performed for a lot more people than usual. The audience got closer to us too; we could hear them cheering and getting excited for Tsubaki Factory. I started enjoying live performances at that point.

—It took you a long time to enjoy them. (Laughs)

Asakura: It really did. (Laughs) I didn’t pay attention to the audience because I was self-conscious from head to toe. My dance moves and my expressions were so stiff.

—Things were going well for you and Tsubaki Factory until you injured your back and had an herniated disc. Would you mind sharing your experience?

Asakura: Sure. It happened in summer 2017. I just thought: “Why me?”. We just had our major debut and our second single was announced… I didn’t tell anyone, but I was preparing for our new music videos by toning my body because my face was so round in our first single. (Laughs) I tried to get in shape and look better for our second single, and that’s how my disc slipped. Because of that, I was often stuck at home. We shot the “Hanamoyou” music video around that time and my face looked terrible. I tried so hard to look good. It’s a video that will live on forever, yet I looked like that… It’s like I had changed as I was resting and it made me very frustrated. I couldn’t take part in the dance shot for “Hanamoyou” and had to stay in the waiting room while the other members were filming. I saw Tsubaki Factory working without me for the first time. I wasn’t with them, but they pulled themselves together and carried on. I felt miserable.

Tsubaki Factory’s second single: “Hanamoyou” (2017)

—I can understand that. How did you feel coming back?

Asakura: I was glad, but I had a feeling it wasn’t like before. The group was carrying on and in my mind, I was out of place. The members did try to make me feel I belonged, but deep in my heart, I felt isolated. It made me worry.

—Was it because you wanted to clear your mind that you cut your hair?

Asakura: No, I believe it was about a year after I came back. Everyone had long hair back then except for Kishimoto Yumeno. She said she was trying to grow her hair so I realized no one in Tsubaki would have short hair anymore. I had long, thick black hair and wanted to change it up. I asked if I could have a short bob, and once they approved it, I found the courage to cut my hair. I thought it would change my image and spice things up.

—It did make you look different.

Asakura: I was told it made me peppier. I’m glad so many people noticed me and started liking me after I cut my hair. “Konya dake ukaretakatta” came out around that time and it’s a cool, upbeat song. It gave me the opportunity to showcase my boyish side as opposed to the clean, quiet, and pure image I had. I thought that was the only way for me to go before, but the truth is, I’m into rock and stuff too. Showing those parts of me I kept hidden was great.

Tsubaki Factory’s fourth single: “Konya dake ukaretakatta” (2018)

—In May 2019, your herniated disc pain came back and you were forced to take another break.

Asakura: I was frustrated, of course, but this time, I knew feeling down about it wouldn’t change anything. I had to keep going and move on. I did strength training and other exercises for my back. I tried my hand at things I was interested in, like learning how to use a computer. I’ll admit I felt down on some days, but I got over it. Fans sent me heartwarming messages. Every time I updated my blog, they told me: “I’m waiting for you.” Apparently, a lot of fans wore my t-shirts at Tsubaki concerts to support me even if I wasn’t there. It made me feel I was able to come back somehow. They cared about me more than I did.

—And you were back again.

Asakura: When I came back in November 2019, I was obsessed with my looks. (Laughs) I was away from the public eye, so I spent less time in front of the mirror. I have a job where people look at me, yet I felt I was becoming a regular girl. What if fans thought the old Kiki looked better, even if I put on my outfits and makeup? It’d suck. I beat myself hard and worried about fans’ opinion until I came back. Once I was on stage again, I found the same supportive environment I left behind and everyone welcomed me back. It was emotional.

—Just as you were starting your activities in 2020, the coronavirus stopped you in your tracks.

Asakura: I know, but I didn’t let that time go to waste. I practised songs and watched plenty of dramas to work on my expressions. I studied how actors’ eyes, body language and appearance change depending on the mood so I could learn and apply that. The Hello! Project ballad concert tour was a huge motivation for me as I became aware of my own voice. I don’t think highly of my singing and I was detaching myself from it. Thanks to those concerts, I realized I had to take action. Having a nice voice and skills is good, but what I want now is to get in touch with my emotions and sensitivity to convey feelings in my singing.

Asakura Kiki’s “Nagoriyuki” cover for Hello! Project’s The Ballad concert tour (2020)

—What’s your vision for the future?

Asakura: When we can do live performances again, it’d be great if Tsubaki Factory could perform in bigger venues. As for my personal goals, I want to improve my singing skills and get more solo jobs. Doing your best is important, but I’d like to deliver every single time.

—Do you ever think about what you want to do when you’ll take different paths, like Kobushi Factory?

Asakura: It’s been on my mind ever since our major debut was announced. I’ve been pondering over what I should do if Tsubaki Factory were to end their activities. I haven’t figured it out yet, but my dad told me I’d find it along the way. I’m waiting for that moment. For the time being, I’ll just keep working hard.